Nervous
by Stronzino
Summary: A oneshot on how school makes her feel. I might write more oneshots of El in school because I honestly love the idea. MILEVEN
1. Nervous

**Mileven**

Everyone told her it's okay to feel nervous. She didn't really understand what nervous meant, but she guessed it had something to do with how her stomach fluttered and her hands shook. She felt fear, too, and these emotions were so much like the ones she felt in the presence of Papa, that it made her even more scared.

But then he was there, holding her hand and smiling brightly at her. She pushed aside her feelings and smiled as well, finding that it was in his company that she found relief. He spoke to her, asked her how she was feeling for her first day at school.

She smiled, a shy one that showed how nervous she felt. "I'm... happy and," she furrowed her eyebrows, recalling the word Joyce had used to describe how she'd feel. "And nervous."

She felt Mike's hand squeeze her's a little as he offered what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "You'll do great, El."

And she believed him, because he had told her friends don't lie.

And especially boyfriends. They can't lie.


	2. Promise

He may not remember her but she remembers his face clearly. She can never forget someone who has hurt her friends. Eleven thinks about the times she has seen Mike with a bandaid or with a bruise on him. It made her blood boil. She's always hated it when Mike got hurt.

And now she's standing here, the people who hurt Mike surrounding her. It made her angry and she felt like it would be the perfect opportunity to hurt them, just like they hurt Mike.

She doesn't understand why they hurt him. He's sweet, caring and he's always patient with her. He explains things when she doesn't understand and he doesn't judge her.

No matter how much she wants to hurt them, especially Troy and his friend, she doesn't. She doesn't hurt them because she promised Mike and Hopper she wouldn't reveal her powers.

And promises are something you can't break. Michael Wheeler, the one who understood her when no else would, had told her that. So she keeps her promises.

 **Should I try writing something longer?**


	3. Reading

She was tutored before actually joining school. Mike had taught before and when he couldn't (which wasn't too often), it would be Nancy or Dustin. They taught her as much as they could and she thought joining school would be good, just as fun as getting privately taught by them.

But she was wrong.

The words were too long. The pages had too many letters. It made her brain hurt, seeing so many tiny words crammed onto a single page. She had never read anything like this before. The girl beside her confidently stood up as the teacher called her name and she began reading.

She didn't take breaks in between her words to try and understand them like Eleven did. She didn't read really, really slow, like Eleven did.

And suddenly, she panicked. Eleven didn't want to read long words in front of twenty three other kids her age. She didn't want to read in front of anyone but her friends. She wasn't ready.

But then the girl sat down and the teacher praised her for her good reading skills and confident voice.

And then she called out, "okay, Jane. Your turn." And at that moment, Eleven froze. She tried to look away from the teacher, pretend she didn't hear, but every where she looked, there was a student staring at her.

She felt tears gathering in her eyes, like it did when she was afraid during one of Papa's 'tests'. He punished her for doing something bad. Would the teacher punish her too?

It all felt too much for her. The pounding of her heart, the ache in her head as she tried to push back memories, the shaking of her hands, so she did the only thing she could think of.

She ran.

 **I love reading positive reviews :)**

 **And this one will be a two shot. I'll post the second part whenever I can.**

 **Also, I'll start writing more of Eleven with other people and not just Mileven ones (I'll still write Mileven, most of them probably will be Mileven, but I wanna write her bond with the others too).**


	4. Friend

**Friend**

She wasn't really sure where she was heading. Eleven was still a bit new to school so the different turns and rooms still confused her, but she couldn't bring herself to care. In her mind, the more distance she put between her and the English class, the better it would be for her.

Her heart pounded loudly in her ears, drowning out the distant yelling of her name. Not her new one, _Jane_ , but the one only her friends called her. El. Eleven.

But her friends didn't have soft and sort of high pitched voices. Their voices were deeper, _rougher_ , in a way. She recognised the voice as the one that belonged to the redheaded girl. Max.

Eleven didn't speak to the girl much, even if she was in almost every single one of her classes, even if she was part of the gang. Eleven's jealousy still nagged at her, it would spark every time the new girl teasingly punched Mike on the shoulder and he laughed, every time she argued with him, using words El didn't understand, and then it would end up in loud laughter.

So, El didn't like _Max_ very much.

She finally stopped running when she felt too tired, her breaths too short and quick to be counted as proper breathing. It was hard to breathe properly. Her mind flashed with tainted memories of her childhood; water tanks, empty spaces, small rooms, men and women in long white coats. Tears slid down her pale cheeks and she felt like screaming.

Hands covered the ones curled into fists by her sides. The touch was warm but not familiar. "Hey Eleven, calm down, take deep breaths," she blinked, her sight blurry due to the tears pooling in her eyes. The sight of a girl crouched in front of her, red jacket over a yellow top, red hair loosely falling down her shoulders was blurry and unfocused. Eleven didn't recognise her touch but she knew this girl. She knew her name.

"Max. Mike." She mumbled, small voice distraught. Max shook her head. "Eleven he's too far away. He's on the other side of school. Look, look at me and breathe in deeply, alright? No one's going to hurt you."

El shook her head, a stray curl of brown falling across her forehead. "El. Can I call you that?" Eleven nodded her head, her hands shaking in Max's softer ones. She didn't notice the panic slowly leave her. "Alright, I'm Max. You know me, right?" Again, Eleven nodded, following Max's examples. Deep breath in, deep breath out.

The shakiness of her hands slowly came to a stop, as did the flow of tears. "Mike is here, alright. He's just in another room. Do you want to go see him? We can go, but you have to come with me, okay?" Max's voice was soft, which was a contrast to the usual hard tone she used around the boys. It was comforting.

Eleven nodded. She stood, her legs shook but Max was there. Eleven allowed a small smile to tilt her lips as she looked at Max.

"Friend."

Friends would do anything for you. Max is a friend.

 _ **Originally, I was going to have Mike comfort her but I was in the mood for some Max and Eleven bonding.**_


	5. Dream

For many days, perhaps a week or two, a constant buzz of conversation surrounded her. They were almost all centred around one topic — excursion. Camp. Fun. Whatever it was, it had many names.

El wished she could join in with the chatter, wished she could be as excited as the rest of the people in her year level.

Like the rest, the gang had make several plans and preparations for the week away from their family, homes and friends that didn't attend Hawkins High school.

El wasn't included in these plans.

It was for the best, she knew. Her nights were spent jolting awake from another horrid nightmare, only to cry in the darkness, legs tucked close to her chest and arms curled around her knees. Sometimes she would scream. Those nights, Hopper would quickly run to her aid and stay up with her, as late as she needed.

But there would be no Hopper at camp. There would only be a sea of other faces, only five that could help her calm. The other faces would only sneer and throw glares if awakened by her struggles.

Mike would insist to stay with her. Karen Wheeler would not let him. Ted Wheeler couldn't care less. So he went.

For most of it, she was sure she would be alone.

She was wrong. At lunch, Nancy, Jonathon and Steve would all walk over to her lonely form hunched over the food she never liked but found more desirable than the bland and tasteless menu at Hawkins Lab. With themselves they brought smiles, laughter and comfort.

She would leave with Jonathon afterwards and join him at his house, where Joyce would come home from work, make something delicious and then they would begin eating. Hopper would join. It would be fun. Happy. Family.

Steve would come randomly and declare his stay. He was funny and made her feel like not knowing certain things was okay. He didn't look at her weirdly. She decided that she really liked him.

Nancy would help her with pretty things. In the week where El was not busy with the gang, Nancy took the opportunity to teach her about dresses, hair products and make up. Eleven would ask her to.

She missed Mike.

She thinks that he misses her too.

At night to ignore her nightmares, she'd use her powers to invite him into the empty void her powers brought. When he would finally appear with his wide grin and happy stories, the black would slowly fade to his memories at camp.

She would laugh and smile. It was almost as if she was there, beside him.

Her nightmares became dreams.

Dreams of people that she cared about. People that cared about her.

In the end, she didn't mind not being able to go to camp.

 **Eh any suggestions? I'm not really sure what else to write about. Also, some of you have been saying to write a long one. I'll try to but with my writing, I feel like shorter suits it more.**

 **But I'll still try to write a long one.**


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